Maudlin

It is amazing how sometimes a movie based on a book we read is picturized exactly how it unfolded in our minds. I had that fabulous experience while watching a movie last week, Mi. I mean, it is freaky how, almost to the smallest detail, it was just as I had imagined it happening. Great feeling.

I thought of all the time we fantasized about holidays and visiting places and what we would do. But the one that always makes me laugh and cry at the same time is the one about arriving at this particular place in that posh car, wearing silk saris, breezing in and looking at our watches, and saying how little time we have, because we have to be in some place in another half an hour. Declining that coffee or snack, if any was offered. Leaving a haze of perfume behind, even as they wonder what hit them before they wake up to reality.

I laugh at all that.

Then my eyes fill up because we never got anywhere near realizing that dream–and believe me, we could have, you know. I am just sad we only went through the nasty part where we were used like dirty rags before being cast aside, conveniently forgotten. Still, I am glad that these slices of life and memories biodegraded and provided fodder for our fantasies. I marvel at how positive we always were, that things would get better. They did, didn’t they? Only we had to literally put ourselves through hell to get away.

Weird memories, no? Had you been here today, we would have been constantly talking about all these things and strangely, feeling better.

So many memories tumble out whenever I open one of the cupboards, you know.

Incidentally, you know I never got around to wearing those white embroidered salwars we got on 8th cross. I’ve gotten them out so I can shorten them, otherwise I’ll have to hriday-tuck them, which is not very comfortable. I’ve pledged not to buy any new clothes until I’ve sorted out what I have. I have been gifting away quite a few, you know, and it feels very good.

Hmm. By the way, the dosai kallu-tava is acting up again. Time for a new one I think. I haven’t been able to season the cast iron one properly yet. It still has hot spots–so annoying. And by the way, I discovered that cutting and rubbing a potato on the tava brings up a weird smell. I prefer to slice an onion–that’s so much better.

I have to take stock of veggies now and make a meal plan of sorts for the next three days. In the meantime, let me go make some coffee and a nice badam halwa.

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