This Time Last Year

This Time Last Year

This time last year we were all busy settling into the new academic year for what seemed like the most crucial school year for Vidur, Mi. I am in a bit of a trance over how much water has flown under that bridge! After a hectic year that included mostly study, exams and prepping for entrance tests, interspersed with rather few and far between recreational stuff, I am a little freaked out over where we are, one year later.

I guess my psyche is finding it a bit hard to digest that Vidur will be studying away from home for 5 years, living on campus. As with any change this one will take time to get used to. I cannot even imagine home without his presence. I guess I’ll ease into that, thanks to technology that allows us to keep in touch in so many ways.

This time last year, we did not even dream that we would be where we are today. Granted that we knew college follows school, and it did, too. He did attend MES for a month before the IISER exams and results happened, after which it was a whirlwind of activity, fulfilling all the paperwork and other things that would facilitate his admission here.

This time last year, we did not even dwell on the possibility of Vidur living on campus. Now that it has happened, I am grateful that he’s slowly adjusting to the new life, albeit with a few hitches. We keep telling him not to sweat over the small stuff and focus on being happy, staying healthy and studying well. Yet life’s routine is so full of things one has to do to fend for oneself.

This time last year, Vidur didn’t even use a mobile phone and now it has become our lifeline because it connects us when we want.

This time last year, we had no idea Vidur would be sharing a room with a coursemate and half living out of a suitcase and worrying about laundry and adjusting to amenities he’s totally not used to and has to accept for the next five years.

I know that this time, next year, we’ll all probably be laughing thinking about this time last year, and feeling proud of where we are at the time. I keep telling Vidur that I am filled with admiration for the way he’s handling the change. So he’s a little nervous, but that is mainly because everything is so new. Familiarity breeds attempt, or so I told him. Often the fear of the unknown and the hesitation to tackle it is directly proportional to our level of self-confidence. As he takes each step forward, it will be a step in the direction of happiness and peace.

And thus I bless my son, your grandson, Mi. I rest assured that you’re watching over him and infusing him with courage. Yes, he wishes you were here to enjoy the beauty of the campus, naturally. As we marvel at the sight of peacocks roaming freely here in the wilderness, we recall that trip to Melukote years ago, and our tryst with the peacocks there. Makes me smile wistfully to remember how he believed that he taught the peacock to dance.

Sigh. Time flies.

The tears can wait until I return home because even though I know things are good, it feels like my heart is elsewhere feeling a bit lonely.

friday reflections

 

Happy to join MacKenzie Glanville and Janine Ripper for Friday Reflections. Join us! And be prepared to be thrilled with the prompts they present, week after week!



11 thoughts on “This Time Last Year”

  • How swiftly time flies and I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for you to let go. There’ll be a huge Vidur-sized gap in your routine too. But I’m guessing the new routine will involve plenty of phone and Skype time with him. And it must make you so proud to know that he’s already starting to adjust. He’ll be fine – he’s got his own guardian angel above! Hugs!

    • 🙂 I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. The truth is, adults worry more than children. And we’re proving it over and over. Fortunately, the situation isn’t unnatural.

      Thank you Corinne! Happy birthday month to you! 🙂

  • I remember those days. Although there is a period of adjustment, the growth and blossoming of our children as they become ever more independent is a wonder, a scary thing, a beautiful thing. I wish you all the best in this next phase of your family’s journey.

    • You are right, Kaarina! Transitions are difficult… I am just glad children adjust faster than we do! Hugs and love. Have been thinking of you often!

  • Those are major life changes. For everyone involved.
    In the beginning, it might feel weird to see the empty bed in the morning, but you will get accustomed.
    I thank technology every single day. It would be much harder if I could not get in touch with my mom on a daily basis.
    #FridayReflections

    • Hi Debbie! Thanks. Yes – I am so grateful for technology too! Last night I was inordinately pleased to see my son’s face laughing on the screen. I have a little way to go on the getting accustomed front . 🙂 Some things are so hard!

  • Aww.. Parents go through this and I know what you mean. Not because I am a parent but because I have seen my parents in the same place like you are currently. I left home when I was 17. Not as young as Vidur but I am sure less confident and more nervous than Vidur. An year later my brother too left home. It was hard for my parents. They felt lonely but working full time helped. My Mum was as busy as Papa and even today too, they feel good about not leaving their jobs and following children. Other parents did this!

    Personally I feel staying away from parents made me who I am today. Unlike Bangalore, the place I come from was a very small city and moving to Delhi was a culture shock for me. I have learnt so much that I feel it was the best things my parents did to us. I wish Vidur sees the world independently, makes his own decisions, chooses people he wants to be friends with and you will love the transformation that hostel life will bring.

    All the best to Vidur and to you and Sury! Things will be great from here on Vidya! Just be strong! (Sorry for the long comment and if you felt there was any unnecessary advise.) I always love your honest posts like this one! Mi would have been so proud of you!

    • Dear Parul, A heartfelt thanks for your lovely comment. I know you are absolutely right. In fact, I was nine when I stayed in a hostel aand I am convinced it shaped me into a stronger person. Yet, the heart is a weirdo…and it is the same heart that gives strength.

      You’ve no idea how wonderful I feel to read your comment! Hugs!

  • This is such a touching post and actually brought back memories of me leaving home to study when I was 18. I moved away to go to University. I was away for four years, I grew up so much, and it was a time filled with big challenge but also lots of fun. I wish I was there to give you big hugs xo #Fridayreflections

    • Hi Mack! Thanks..and tight hugs! Even though we know it is the best thing to happen, the heart takes some time to get adjusted. As Debbie said in her comment, the adjustment happens, albeit slowly. I appreciate your comment. I feel the strength!

  • This phase is so difficult yet so special…Once we leave our parents’ home, life just keeps carrying us here and there..I have been away from mom & dad for so long and only see them on vacations..How did life change so much I often wonder! Don’t worry it will all be fine, you’ll settle into this too

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