For The First Time Ever
For the first time, ever in my life, I did not hand over cash received, to you, in your hands. I always followed the practice of giving you any money I received – be it check or cash. I felt so bad yesterday when I brought home my usual monthly Clinicom cash cover – I had to just put it away. Then a little later, I gave the packet to Vidur and told him, how promptly after the first meeting every month I would bring home this packet, hand it over to you and you would slip it under your pillow. Then, the next morning, you’d leisurely wear your glasses and settle down to count it. 🙂 Remember how you once mistook the 1000-rupee-notes to be 500-rupee notes? Sigh. Well – Vidur has already mentally begun to spend the money on his wishlist of books. Sign of normalcy? Maybe.
Another thing is – I still can’t control the tears when someone I like – talks about your passing away. Yesterday Karthik and family visited, en route to Ahmedabad from Salem after Sriram’s wedding – and somehow when I saw Anu, I remembered a friend very much – and I seriously don’t know why. She resembled her so much. I also wanted to take a pic with Anu, Rahul and Vidur – just like the one we’d taken when Vidur was a year old. And in the flurry of conversation, forgot! How we’ve all changed, both in looks and the way we are. Rahul enjoyed eating dosas…apparently Salem food turned out to be boring, what with the rasam running off the banana leaf and all! Karthik and family left for the 10.30 pm train to Ahmedabad.
Thatha also came with them and left this afternoon for Chennai. Vidur he and I had paneer butter masala subzi and parathas for lunch, with pudina chutney and curd. Quite the cook I’ve become, eh?
Vidur misses you – each time he draws something, or continues his story. Remember how he keeps showing each one of us individually? His drawings are fabulous now – and he seems a bit quieter…or maybe am imagining it. Here’s how he thinks of you: doing ‘gujali’
Now we are both settling down to do some serious work – me to clear up some Clinicom pending and Vidur to study for his exams. Then he wants some time on the pc. Later in the evening we plan to work on his hindi essays – there are 4 topics that he has to prepare for Monday.
Oh by the way, yesterday I went to check whether the wedding DVD was ready – and guess what, that guy played it on his system and the dvd froze. So – without exchanging a single word, he returned the two cassettes and the money. What a waste of time. Now i’ll have to find someone else to do it. Raghavan uncle had recommended one guy at 11th cross. I’ll go check him out tomorrow, maybe.
And so life goes on – and we wish you were here. In a sense you are – but we like to touch and feel, don’t we?