As I was talking to Padma yesterday – I felt completely enveloped by love. I love how it always feels. Mental bear hugs! Of course, we strolled down memory lane on and off throughout the conversation. Its amazing to think that Shnu is 23 – how could we ever forget holding him as an eight month old baby, dressed in a peach colored smock and with vibhuti on his forehead? Or that silly first haircut that Padma and Jags trusted me to give him? Or the raincoat we got him (dark booooo) that he refused to take off? Memories were tumbling around in my mind. I had the urge to search for that “rasam curry” tape where we coaxed Shnu to talk when he was barely a year old. What joy! I really should look for a way to convert these tapes and our Vidur’s into MP3s. I always used to think back then – when I have a kid, he/she should be just like Shnu! What an angel!

Vidur, in the meantime, has come down with a viral fever – its scary during the fever at nights – seems to burn so hot. Thank God, yesterday was a little better. I hate to see him sick, poor chap. He looks so listless and lost. He can’t even speak because of the throat infection now…and he writes what he wants to say. Sigh. I guess there went the school music program, too, in which he was participating…because they were apparently recording on Saturday. There was no way he could even get out of bed, leave alone anything else. Gosh, I remember last year – one of the times when he was sick – he got out of bed to go to the loo and told me he felt dizzy, and puked, and just collapsed in my arms. I thought I’d go crazy with worry – because he was almost my height and I just did not have the stamina to lift him. At that time, mom was in another bedroom, also unwell – and I was running from one room to the other, with kitchen stops in between to get them stuff.  The final exams were in two weeks for Vidur…and we almost thought that he was going to miss them. But he didn’t – and came out on top. Strange.

So – this time, when he felt dizzy and puked….I just sat him down on the potty…because there was no way I was going to be able to hold up a 5’9″ kid! But – as usual, God is great – and Uma has been calling several times just to make me laugh – and somehow, this too has passed. People find it easy to say that these things are a part of life – as if we didn’t know that – but then, only those who experience things will know how it truly feels. And then – each individual’s feelings is unique to them – and no one can claim to understand another person one hundred per cent. That is why love has to be unconditional – and allow space when necessary. I am grateful to all the people in my life who make me feel loved.

Okay – on a totally unrelated note – here’s Vidur’s schoolbag. It was plain – so I painted his favorite cartoon characters – Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick on the bag. Yes, he was thrilled.